So, you've got an adorable cockatiel, but they don't trust you, and don't want anything to do with you. I'm guessing you didn't get a new pet for them to just look pretty, you want to have a real relationship. And, the truth is that your cockatiel won't be happy either until they're hand tame - cockatiels need social relationships to be happy.
I know you're wondering how to turn that shaking, biting feather daemon into a loving companion, so let's get to it.
Step 1: Habituation
To start with, we're going to use the same approach that scientists use when they want to study wild animals. You're just going to spend time near your cockatiel, and let them get used to you being around, so they can see that nothing bad happens when you're near.
Just spend some time near their cage, maybe talking to them softly, and reassuringly, which will help to comfort them. Remain calm and relaxed, and have a gentle energy about you. If you're coming at your cockatiel with excitement, or intensity, at this point, you're just going to make them anxious - and the goal is to have them feel relaxed around you.
In this first step we're not giving positive reinforcement through food treats, sounds, or head scratching. The reward they get is that they end up feeling relaxed and calm in a situation that made them nervous at first.
After a few sessions like this you'll find that your cockatiel doesn't seem bothered by your presence, and it's time to move onto the next step.
Step 2: Hand Taming
This is where it gets fun, because you get to start interacting with your cockatiel more closely. You need to stock up on bird treats - millet spray will do fine - because you're going to be using it to bribe your cockatiel into coming close to you.
To begin with just hold out some millet through the bars, near a perch, and wait for your cockatiel to pluck up the courage to come and get some. It might take a while, but eventually their desire for the millet will overcome their fear of you. Repeat the last part a few times, until you feathered friend is coming over, and taking the millet, right away.
Your next step is to open the cage door, stick your hand in, and offer the millet. This time your cockatiel has to come and get the treat without any bars between you. It shouldn't take them long to come and get some.
After your cockatiel's comfortable with that, just put a small piece of millet in your palm, and offer that. Your cockatiel will have to come right up close, and stick their head in your hand, to get the treat. At this point, your cockatiel is comfortable with your hand being very near to them, so well done.
Finally, it's time to start getting your cockatiel to sit on your hand. To do that, just reach over slowly and put your hand to their lower belly, pushing into them slightly, until they step onto your hand. They have to step on so that they don't fall over, but they'll probably jump off right away the first few times.
If you get bitten doing this part, it's very important not to jerk your hand away or make a fuss. I know those beaks can hurt, but if you give your cockatiel that kind of reaction, they'll just keep on biting you, because it works.
Once your cockatiel will step onto your hand without fuss, you're ready to bring them out of the cage. Well done on getting this far, and I hope you enjoy building a wonderful relationship with your bird.
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